We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
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