he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
