Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
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