The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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