I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
