No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
