Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Randomize
