i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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