At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
