He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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