i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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