You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
