I think my vagina is haunted
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
