Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
