Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
