They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Randomize
