Don't you send me to vm
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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