Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
