rhymes with "ouble enetration"
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
