you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
