just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
