Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
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