i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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