I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
