i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
