Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
