Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
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