so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Randomize
