Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
