oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
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