the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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