In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
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