Can i not drive my cunt home
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
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