this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize