I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
