She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
