So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Randomize
