this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize