she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
