She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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