how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
