You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
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