She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize