My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
