woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
She has the best kind of daddy issues
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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