i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
