my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
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