hotel room ftw
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
