Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Randomize
