I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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