Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Randomize
