her vagine was all disorganized.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
