Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Randomize
