she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize