if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
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