got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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