did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
