Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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