I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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