my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
they're like a gay fantastic four
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
